Everyone who is hurting may find himself/herself influenced or driven by one or two of the three actions listed below:
- Yield to the voice of the hurting emotions-inflamed with adrenaline rush for retaliation or revenge:
- Yield to the voice of the devil, in addition to point no. 1 above to do something terrible
- Yield to the voice of God and manifest the fruit of the spirit;
When crisis looms, what do you do and who do you listen to? Is it Jesus or your hurting emotions or the devil the enemy of marriage who does not want your marriage to succeed? Sometimes, one person’s obedience to God may save the whole marriage from total collapse! And that may mean sacrificing one’s personal interest in order to give way to God’s own main interest. God’s main interest has always been that no marriage MUST sink! We read in Malachi 2:16, where God said He hates putting away (divorce). Divorce shouldn’t even be the last resort like people may say, but should never ever be thought of in the first place! God created marriage, and the devil instigates separation and divorce through man’s disobedience to the Word of God. Divorce is mostly traceable to the hardness of one’s heart, which is called sklērōkardia in Greek; that is, a heart that is deprived of God’s Word. (See Matthew 19:8). It is better that one person be on God’s side, than for the two persons to be on the same side with the devil, due to disobedience, incessant strife, bitterness and unforgiveness. The fact is, God can still use the spouse who is faithful and available to win back the other partner that is found wanting. (See 1 Peter 3:1-7; Ephesians 5:25).
CASE #4: A Ship on the High Sea!
The family or marriage can be compared to a ship on the sea. On the ship there are the captain (the one in charge), the assistant captain, the crew and the passengers. Although, in a Christian marriage, both husband and wife are co-equals and joint heirs together of the grace of life; the husband occupies a superior leading role over his wife. Not that he is superior and his wife is inferior or a second class human. No! However, because of the mission that God is set to accomplish through them, the man becomes the head of that mission, while the woman gives him her supporting strength.
Imagine that while on the high sea, the captain and the assistant (husband and wife) are engrossed in a prolonged and serious battle against one another, or one person refusing to team up with the other to fight against external forces that are confronting their unity! That voyage can become so disastrous and the entire marriage-ship will sink if care is not taken. What would happen to the passengers (children) is left unimaginable! This, in a way describes the pathetic story of many Christian marriages today.
A Distress Call Against Threats!
If a ship on the high sea is confronted with an imminent danger and requires an immediate assistance for the vessel to survive; a distress call is quickly made through a transmitter radio to the nearest coast guard on a harbor station. It is the duty of the captain to make such emergency calls – stating the nature of the looming challenge and the position of the vessel. Ably assisted by the assistant captain, the captain must do all he can to follow every instruction-in order to ensure that at least lives are protected during the voyage. Our marriage-ships therefore, have been set on a dominion voyage; and only those who sail together on the fuel of Agape and with the unstoppable and unpredictable current of the Holy Spirit with the infallible Word of God will be able to navigate against the boisterous tidal waves of Satan on the high sea of human troubles and existence. Much is expected from the captain, that is, the husband!
When couples who are stakeholders in marriage fail to give a distress call on time, (when their marriage voyage is facing a chaotic threat) the consequences can be of a disastrous type. One person should always initiate a distress call on time to the Holy Spirit-the great teacher. Other avenues or contacts for emergency management could be those whose faith and experience have gotten them great successes in their marriages!
The Needed Wisdom
Consider a father sending his son to buy some bread for breakfast; and on the way the child is confronted by a bully. The bully challenges him and hinders him from completing his errand. What should he do if the bully tends to overwhelm him? Should he become so stupid to remain there fighting the bully, not minding if he loses his life at the end? No! Remember, he was supposed to go buy some bread! Did he send himself on that errand? Was he meant to stay and fight anyone who waylays him until he loses his life and then put the rest of the family in Jeopardy? The answer is NO! Find out why Marriage was created to please God.
The simple thing he can do is for him to find his way back home and report the bully to his Dad -who sent him on that trip. His Dad would tell him what to do. God will not fail to give wisdom to those who desire and ask from him. (See James 1:5). How is it that many marriage partners find it very easy to take laws into their hands to maltreat or divorce their spouses, instead of seeking God’s face and taking heed to what He says in His Word? It is so disheartening to hear what some Christians who have been baptized with the Holy Spirit do to their partners – in a supposedly godly home!
CASE #5: He Killed His Brother While Working in Their Father’s Farm!
Imagine another scenario, where a father sends two of His children to go and do some work in His farm. An argument arises and the junior becomes extremely rude to his senior brother. Then, someone who had witnessed this, encourages the senior to deal with his brother mercilessly! The senior (who felt the shame of being looked down upon and his position ridiculed), then lands his brother a deadly blow. His brother slumps to the ground, and the man who instigated his unguarded action takes off, while he cries, his heart gripped with fear, and full of regret.
These two cases (#4 and #5) describe in a way, how some Christian couples have listened to the devil through their flesh (hurting emotions). They took the laws into their hands and dealt mercilessly with their marriage partners; and in turn lost the home that both of them have been trying to build together.
The irony is that, just like the man in case #5 above disappeared, that is exactly how the devil has done to so many people. He influenced them to take the wrong move that led them into various woes making them abandon God’s divine assignment for their marriage!
If you are finding it very difficult to help your wife transform into becoming a virtuous wife or have a hard task in getting your husband to be on God’s page with you (as a real man) please, go seek God’s face. FIND OUT WHAT TO DO AND ASK HIM FOR GRACE TO ADEQUATELY CARRY OUT THE INSTRUCTIONS HE SHOWS YOU ACCORDING TO THE WORD OF GOD.
- Don’t take the law into your own hands to do otherwise!
- Remember that God has sent you on an errand to carry out your own marriage assignment!
There’s always a reward for whatever we do whether good or bad! You might need to get wisdom from the wise – those who have been there and are successful in their own marriage. Paul says in Galatians 6:7, “Don’t be misled-you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant.” (NLT)
