The Right Thing!
Imagine, if after Eve had eaten the fruit, and in an attempt to give some to her husband, and then he (Adam) decided to cross-check with God. Don’t you think that a lot of troubles could have been averted? So, watch it! Don’t be the reason why Satan should have your spouse and then gain the upper hand in your marriage. Always crosscheck your actions and reactions with God’s Word! Be caught out doing the will of God first and foremost even if situations suggest otherwise. God will bless you and turn things around for your good!
Beyond Marriage Roles Be Best of Friends!
Marriage roles practiced either by husband loving his wife or the wife submitting to her husband, may not always show true love; because, in the absence of any tough trials they may be doing so out of obligation as culture/society demands. There are many husbands and wives who are trying to play their roles in an enduring manner-tolerating each other, instead of doing it with joy as unto the Lord. “Count it all joy the Bible says, , my brothers. when you meet trials of various kinds” – James 1:3 ESV.
Couples should grow in love, practicing ‘couple-mindset – doing things together as best of friends, Best of friends will always do all they can to lend a helping hand to each other! Only the practice of agape (God’s unconditional love) in trials brings them to this level. Be your spouse’s best friend! Yes, we have enough spiritual help – the grace of God-to make this happen. Grace means we have no excuse to fail or remain a failure in case we fall. The problem is that many times we do not put God consistently first in all the things we do. If we go to Him first when we are hurting, He heals us and gives us enough grace to forgive and wisdom too to enable us handle the situation better. More of God leads to less of us (flesh and hurting reactions.)
Both of you should endeavour to obey God, so you don’t lose your marriage. God will demand from you how you treated your marriage partner in reference to what He’s given you and commanded you to do. And in case you have not obeyed God and probably have lost your marriage, go back to God and tell Him to forgive you. Starting from where you are now, ask Him; ‘Lord, what do I do?’
If you are a husband, it’s your full responsibility to take care of your wife. ‘Pastor, I am not a mega-provider’ you might say. Yes, I agree, but it’s your place to love her as a leading lover – doing and providing what you can, and praying for her. That will make God meet those other needs – absolutely providing and protecting her as the needs arise. I believe that we husbands MUST have a strong relationship with God to love and trust Him enough to make us love our wives to succeed as the helpers God has made them to be. In case you have fallen short of what God expects from you in your marriage, please go back to God, to empty yourself of everything that is contrary to His principles of success for marriage.
To Do List
1) Ask God to forgive you if you have fallen short from loving Him enough. You must love God enough to help you to love or submit to your spouse.
2) Ask God for the grace to love your spouse or submit to him as your best friend.
3) Be bumbly apologetic when you tell your spouse to forgive you, if you have become the reason his or her happiness is lost.
4) Where he or she refuses to forgive you, ensure that you don’t aggravate matters by taking the law into your hands. Follow the principles Jesus laid down in Matthew 18:15-18. (See my book on ANGER! Help Me! Second edition, pg. 220).
5) Tell your spouse you have forgiven him/her, if he or she asks you. But, if he or she refuses, still forgive him or her, to avoid being an offender before God, and ensnared by the spirit of unforgiveness. Jesus said if you forgive He will forgive you; if you don’t, He too will not forgive you (Mark 11:25).
6) Give good compliments to your spouse. Appreciate him or her for the little things done.
7) Don’t give room to third party deliberations against your partner’s weaknesses.
8) Give your spouse a helping hand always regardless of roles.
9) Be sincere and very open to make it easy for your spouse to trust you as his or her best friend.
10) Keep your communication line open always for verbal intimacy.
11) Put an end to your former single-life outings; no late nights with friends.
12) Always let your spouse know about your destinations.
13) Practice togetherness: praying and eating together; sleeping on the same bed; going to same church; attending marriage programmes; sharing Bible passages, etc.
14) Carry your spouse along in your decision-making projects or plans.
15) Pray for his or her success at work and at home.
16) Seal your conviction of love and forgiveness, by giving the one you love a special gift or treat often.
17) Practice fun things together: romance, meaningful touches, good jokes, etc.
18) Give your spouse a multiple visa entry for s#x as much as possible.
God’s institution of marriage on earth, has an agenda to manifest God’s kingdom, have dominion, give God the pleasure and the glory He deserves. It takes two opposite s#xes joined and fared together in Christ as one flesh and best of Friends to manifest a successful marriage on earth-even before the children start coming.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths –Proverbs 3:5-6.
CONCLUSION
Since Marriage was Created…
- To Please God, then let every married person do all he or she can to treat his or her partner in a loving manner according to the will of God.
- For Companionship, then let us build a deeper relationship with our spouses as our best friends, and unreservedly communicate the grace of God and His blessings to each other.
- For Procreation, let us endeavor to raise godly seeds who will fulfil God’s mandate of dominion on earth. This is also extended to other people’s children, even if we are yet to have our own children
- For s$xual intimacy and enjoyment, let each married person know that s$x is good within the confines of marriage and no one should be selfish about it nor allow his or her partner to starve, except only in moments of fasting with mutual consent.
- For a Divine Assignment, every married partner should realize that getting married means taking up God’s assignment to obey His Word. Primarily, this begins right from home where the husband and wife must love and submit to each other, in such a way to reflect Christ’s love.
- As a Tool of Revenge against Satan, then every couple should understand that our wrestling against spiritual forces isn’t restricted to financial prosperity alone, but covers every area beginning from the family. Every agreement between couples counts in this battle for them to share from the victory of Christ already purchased for us when He defeated Satan through the cross. And,
- As a Replica of Jesus’ Marriage to His Bride-the Church; then couples will do better to use no other marriage (no matter how best that marriage could be) as their standard, but that of Christ and His Church – His beautiful bride so described as “awesome as an army with banners (Songs 6:10).
Fight for your wife! Fight for your husband! Fight for your marriage to win over the devil! DON’T ALLOW HIM TO BREAK YOUR MARRIAGE! DON’T OBEY HIM! DON’T LET THE DEVIL TAKE THE GLORY THAT YOUR MARRIAGE WAS CREATED TO GIVE TO GOD IN THE FIRST PLACE.
- HUSBAND, love your wife! WIFE, submit to your husband! God commanded this to be so.
Both of you should grow your love together in Christ-attending Bible classes and seminars. Have a couple-mindset; and you will enjoy 10,000 fold blessings.
May your marriage give God the glory He truly deserves in JESUS NAME. May you use the wisdom you have received from God through this book, to keep your marriage intact, on the offensive, and victorious against Satan, in the mighty name of Jesus. I take the blood of Jesus and the sword of the Spirit, and command every yoke of bondage against your marriage broken, in Jesus name. I decree that you recover that which the devil has stolen, in the mighty name of Jesus. May your marriage be healed and be a good example to many; may it become a health clinic for dysfunctional marriages, in the mighty name of Jesus! Amen.
God, is faithful and Who will also do it make your marriage journey on earth a successful one for His name’s sake! Amen.
OTHER BOOKS BY THE AUTHOR
-
ANGER! Help Me! (First and Second Publication)
-
How to Overcome S#xu!l Temptation Volume 1
(Destroying the Cataclysmic Foundations)
-
How to Overcome S#xu!l Temptation Volume 2
(Additional Things You Must know)
-
How Not to Fall in Love
For enquiries please contact:
+234-(0) 704 145 2645; +234-(0) 802 309 7975;
+234-(0) 812 152 4059; +234-(0) 803 300 7996;
You can Connect with the author on Facebook @:
http://Fb.me/chrisOnMarriage Counselling,
or like any of our pages @:
www.facebook.com/schoolofmarriage OnePlus One; or,
www.facebook.com/schoolofmarriageSingles Only
You may be pleased to be married, but, is God pleased with your marriage now? Are you and your partner prepared to make your marriage please God? Why do many couples still end up in separation or divorce after they have fully experienced companionship, procreation, and s#xu!l enjoyment in their marriages? The answers to these questions are the result of this book which emanated from a singular encounter the author had with the Holy Spirit in 2009, after the Holy Spirit asked him a second question “WHAT ELSE” (did God create mariage for?)
How do we intend to enjoy God fully in our marital lives when in the first instance we don’t even know what God created marriage for beyond the three basic meanings we all know? You don’t expect to be successful in the marriage God has institutionalized by shoving His will aside and establishing your own curriculum! Marriage is one plus one investment of God’s will, The revelation contained in 7-Point Agenda for Marriage, which has turned many marriages around for God’s glory including that of the author, will no doubt help many more couples and those in courtship to learn how to make their marriages fulfil God’s kingdom agenda and in turn gladden God’s heart.
Christopher Ikebuwa is the Senior Pastor of Grace Finishers’ Assembly. and is also a teacher of the Word and an author. He is the Convener of the School of Marriage ministry, both at church settings and on the Internet. He was formerly a branch Pastor in The Fountain of Life Church, at Ilupeju, Lagos, Nigeria, where both he and his wife pastored the Egbeda Parish for nine years. He is presently the President of the Apostolic Prayer Force Ministry – which was founded by his late brother and friend, Apostle (Dr) Raphael Kolawole Olunrunmaiye. He is married to Abolanle Ikebuwa, the Associate Pastor of GFA and they are blessed with children and grandchildren.
